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Everyday Management of Stress and Worry

Responding to Tragedy.

In response to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012, with the guidance of teacher Lois Arndt who now is a Somatic Trauma Resolution Therapist, our school shared the following ideas for helping children relieve stress.  I appreciate Lois’ belief that “children are incredibly resilient and with our support can move through difficult times in healthy manner.”

  1. If your child expresses fear, sadness, etc., have them notice where they feel it in their bodies. As them to jump around, shake or do what their body needs to do.
  2. Make up a story with your child about an animal who “freezes” because they are scared and have them act it out with you—curl into a ball, stand up, jump, shake, snort. Keep validating your child’s physical responses. If they cry, encourage them to do what their body knows best—cry, tremble, etc. Temper tantrums may be more common. If children are safe, let them tantrum, but with your support (hand on their back, chest, etc.). Try not to discourage them from letting their feelings out but remind them that you are there to keep them safe. Ue works such as “that’s ok,” just let the scary stuff shake right out of you.”
  3. Encourage your child to rest, even if they don’t want to—not necessarily sleep, but time with a book, playing with stuffed animals, doing art for example. For some children, drawing is very relaxing and sometimes  by drawing, they can then talk more about their fears. Try not to analyze their drawing, just be there with them and watch their body reactions. You might ask them to draw a picture of the place in their body where they feel their and anxiety.
  4. Even though children pick up our anxieties, try to keep talking about scary situations at a minimum around children. And even though it is difficult, avoid having the TV on all the time, try to catch up on news when they are playing elsewhere.
  5. Try to have come time each day that feels normal to your child, even if someone else needs tone the caregiver to help with that. A trip to the park, reading a favorite book, or taking advantage of story time at the public library.

 

Stress Management

The Turtle Technique is a relatively simple but powerful tool that teachers and parents can offer children to help calm them down in a variety of situations. I laugh thinking of our director Jen Filonowich who, after a staff training where we all learned and practiced the Turtle Technique, commented that she’s been using it herself! I like it too. Please check out Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL), the Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Interventions (TACSEI), and the SpecialQuest Approach for more resources.

A Reminder to Keep a Sense of Humor

And then there is Rudyard Kipling’s letter to his 12 year old daughter who was preparing for a trip to London….
Dear Bird,

(…)

I send you a few simple rules for Life in London.

1      Wash early and often with soap and hot water.

2      Do not roll on the grass of the parks. It will come off black on your dress.

3      Never eat penny buns, oysters, periwinkles or peppermints on the top of a bus. It annoys the passengers.

4      Be kind to policemen. You never know when you may be taken up.

5      Never stop a motor bus with your foot. It is not a croquet ball.

6      Do not attempt to take pictures off the wall of the National Gallery or to remove cases of butterflies from the National History Museum. You will be noticed if you do.

7      Avoid late hours, pickled salmon, public meetings, crowded crossings, gutters, water-carts and over-eating.

Ever your

Daddo

 

Having just sent our youngest Ruth Washburn alumna daughter off to New York City where she intends to pursue dance I wish my husband and I had written her a “dear bird” letter rather offer every possible reminder for safety that we have accumulated throughout life. So I haven’t mastered how not to worry, but I’m definitely better.  A special thanks to Lois Arndt who has made helping others her full-time occupation.

 

Sincerely,

Sukie Jackson          Teacher

 

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